Is the queef a commonly understood phenomenon among women?  I will explain graphically if I need to, but come on ladies, no need to be prude.  We all do it…..don’t we?  Nonetheless I can hardly say the word without laughing and I really don’t even know the true medical term for this little wisp of air that bubbles from our nether regions.   If anyone does,  let me know – I will hold off on googling it.

On a side-note – in one of my college Latin classes there was a girl named Keefa.  I renamed her Queefa for no reason other than every time that our Professor said her name I would have something to giggle about.  When she continued to take Latin through our Senior year with me I had to work with her pretty closely later on.  I only slipped once, but it was worth it and I still think she had the best nickname of all time.  You really cannot blame her parents, did they even call them queefs 30 years ago??

I guess I have been thinking about queefing a lot lately.  After my last less than ideal IVF transfer I distinctly remember queefing and was certain that I blew out the embryos.  I am trying to hold my queefs this time, but it is not as easy as holding, say, a fart which eventually just dissipates and fizzles out slowly spreading out the stink.

Do you think I should call the clinic and let them know I have a queefing problem? I am only kind of serious, but has anyone else thought of this or had it happen?? My queef holding is exasperated by that fact that the progesterone makes me constipated and I am already afraid to poop since that too may push out the embryos.   Really, I am full of problems.  I could go on and on about how the stupid IKEA mattress we bought for our downstairs bedroom (cooler, summer bedroom) is too hard and hurts my progesterone injection spots or how I have gained 10 pounds with this cycle or even the shitty quality of our embryos, but right now my focus is on holding the queef.

My new mantra: hold the queef.

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